Have you ever met someone very successful and accomplished and thought, “Wow, they really have it all together!” It could be a senior leader, an acclaimed writer or a talented artist, we assume they have it all figured out and life is easy.

The human reality is that’s rarely the case. Titles, positions, awards, status, wealth – none of these things make anyone immune to the often heart-breaking and difficult challenges life can throw your way. A wise friend of mine who supported me during the early years of my divorce many years ago said to me, “You never really know what’s going on in someone’s life.”

In my work with leaders over the years, I have found that to be a profound truth. The leaders I work with are accomplished, driven, and good at what they do. There’s an assumption that comes with the title: by now, you’ve got everything figured out.

They’re also human beings, dealing with the same uncertainties and hard seasons that the rest of us are. The difference is that there are fewer places where they can say so, and they do what they can to navigate those inner challenges quietly.

When Success and Struggle Coexist

In a global Gallup study of nearly 10,000 leaders published in April 2026, researchers Jim Harter and Ryan Pendell found that leaders outperform other role groups on life satisfaction and employee engagement. By those measures, they’re doing well. However, the daily experience of leading tells a different story. Leaders are significantly more likely to have reported stress, anger, sadness, and loneliness the previous day compared to individual contributors.

HEC Montréal published survey results of 107 CEOs of major Canadian organizations in Harvard Business Review, and found that 80 percent had experienced notable loneliness in the role. Most were well-connected and surrounded by colleagues all day. Yet “leadership weighs heavily on their shoulders – and theirs alone”, argue the authors, which leads to a sense of social isolation and loneliness.

The phrase “It’s lonely at the top” is the dynamic of leaders surrounded by people yet feeling socially distanced because to disclose their worries or vulnerabilities feels risky. Senior leaders often do not have someone they can think with. In fact, the HEC Montréal research found that “one in five consistently displayed the significance of their loneliness, which speaks to the pressure that leaders feel to look calm and in control.”

If that resonates, here are a few strategies that can make a real difference.

1. Name it to tame it

The first is simply to name what you’re experiencing and to recognize that it’s normal for people in positions of senior leadership. Feelings of loneliness is a structural pattern at this level of leadership, not necessarily a personal failing. The combination of high accountability, limited candor, and pressure to look composed creates conditions for isolation, even when you’re surrounded by people all day.

So if you’re feeling the pressure and start to wonder whether you’re still up for the task, take a pause. Remember it’s not just you. It’s part of the challenge many senior leaders deal with as well.

2. Practice compassion

The instinct for most senior leaders when they’re struggling is to manage past it. The instinct to push through, compartmentalize and wait for things to ease up is understandable. After all, it’s often that drive that got you to where you are.

What’s worth examining is the belief underneath it: that struggling means something is wrong with you, rather than something is hard about the role. Those are different things. The research makes clear this experience is structural. The compassion this moment calls for isn’t just about slowing down. It’s about being honest with yourself that what you’re dealing with is real and deserves attention, not management.

This shift is smaller than it sounds and it matters more than you might expect. When you stop treating your own experience as a problem to get past, you start making better decisions about what you actually need.

3. Find your support structure

One finding from the research stands out: 80 percent of the CEOs who reported loneliness were well-connected, surrounded by colleagues. The issue wasn’t a lack of relationships. It was a lack of relationships where candor was actually possible.

At senior levels, almost every relationship inside the organization becomes politically loaded in some way. The person positioned to help has a stake in the outcome. The colleague you trust is navigating the same dynamics. The result is that even the most connected leaders can go through entire weeks without a conversation where they can say what they’re actually thinking.

What fills that gap is a relationship with no organizational stake attached. It could be a peer group of leaders outside your industry, an executive coach or trusted advisor who is willing to listen to whatever is of greatest concern to you. Finding a support person or structure who can give you objectivity and space to be a safe and trusted sounding board for you can make all the difference.

The leaders who stay effective when the pressure doesn’t let up aren’t the ones who needed no support. They’re the ones who made sure they had it.

If you’ve been missing a trusted sounding board, that’s exactly what the Adaptive Advantage executive advisory partnership was designed to do.