Here in North America everyone is getting back into the regular routine of life of work, school and home again after the summer season. I’m still shaking a few of those holiday cobwebs from my brain as well 😉

I appreciate the great comments on my current Lead Conversations That Count video series, and I’m glad to hear you’re finding them useful! In today’s video, I wanted to tackle the question of why aren’t we better at leading engaging and effective meetings. In this video, I share the importance of you, as the leader to “Set the Bar” . The leader really sets the tone and example for the entire team, so it’s important to get this step right. In it, I’ll give you 3 simple tips to help you set the bar, and keep it high.

TRANSCRIPT OF VIDEO

Hi, everyone! It’s Carolyn Ellis from BrillianceMastery.com and thank you so much for joining me for this short video! This is part of a series I’m running called Lead Conversations that Count where I’m sharing some tips and insights from …(gasp!) Oh wait, it’s a book! Lead Conversations that Count: How Busy Managers Run Great Meetings.

Today’s tip is called “Set the Bar”. I was talking to a colleague recently and she made the observation that so few managers had learned how to run effective and engaging meetings. To which I said, “You know, that’s true AND it’s not their fault.” Let’s just think about it here for a moment. A lot of  managers used to be colleagues of the people that they’re now managing. Maybe some of them got that promotion because they’re really great at the tech skills, but perhaps not so great at the people skills.

Let’s face it, this isn’t something where you can read a book or even go to a workshop once or twice, and all of the sudden… (snap!) you’re able to run a meeting with a complexity of group dynamics that are always going to be at play. Especially when you are doing tricky work, with  few resources, and a lot of priorities that are kind of conflicting. It’s complicated. Learning how to lead great conversation and run a really effective meeting is something you really learn by doing. You learn through experience. If you think about it, you’re going up that learning curve too in front of a lot of eyeballs, right? People are just watching your every move and having some opinions, and perhaps even having a voice in your performance appraisal about it. It can feel like a lot of pressure.

Let’s be honest. Sometimes there’s not a lot of great role models that people have had.  We don’t always have those great shining examples of inspiring leaders right there so we can follow in their footsteps readily. All of this, plus the stress of work, can lead  managers to feel like, “Ugh! Maybe I made a mistake in getting this job. Maybe I’m an impostor. What if I fail? What if I’m really not cut out for this?”

I want to offer you three tips to help you set the bar.

And the first tip is: Do Your Work. Yes, it’s going to feel weird at first, but it’s important that you do your work and do some committed effort to things like self-reflection, asking for feedback, and doing what is needed. If listening is not your strong suit, get some support on that. Emotional intelligence, picking up cues from people, define what some of your weak spots might be and figure out how you can better develop them. The importance of this is, because, as  the manager people will follow you as an example. If they see you doing your work, asking for input, really reflecting on the quality of work that they’re bringing, they’re going to take a page off of your book. If you’re not doing your work and you ask them to do their work, there’s a disconnect there. They’re not going to do that. Your team will do what you do, not what you say.

Second tip is to Stay Curious. The beginner’s mindset here is so critical. I think it’s really important that you adopt the mindset of the scientist. They’re in a lab, they’ve got lots of elements and they’re trying to find the right proportions to get the result that they want. When they get a result that’s not what they expected, or what they wanted, they don’t take it personally. They don’t become affronted at it, or think that somebody else is to blame. They’re like “Ha! That didn’t yield the result that I expected from my hypothesis. Let me try something else.” Stay curious and adopt that mindset of the scientist. You’re just trying to figure out what is the right set of ingredients that will really bring out the best in the alchemy of your particular team and the kind of work that you do together.

And the third tip I want to offer for you is to Harvest Your Own Wisdom by doing a personal inventory. Grab a piece of paper, take 15 minutes, put a line down the middle and label one column “What Works for Me”, and the other column “What Doesn’t Work for Me.” You’ve been in a lot of meetings and had experience with lots of different kinds of leaders and bosses. You already have a pretty good idea of  what really works for you and what you’ve experienced that you would like to emulate. You’ve also had experience of what you don’t what to carry forward with you as you step into your leadership roles.

Write those things down to help build awareness and to articulate what’s most important for you as you develop your relationship with your team. I think this is a really helpful exercise. It’s the articulation and awareness that comes from it that will really serve you well in those moments where things can feel a little bit chaotic in your meeting and you can choose, “I want to show up like this as a leader.” The personal inventory that you’ve done there can help guide you in those moments.

So, I hope those tips have been helpful. So Do Your Work, Stay Curious, and do your Personal Inventory to define what works for you by Harvesting Your Wisdom.

If you’d like any other support around this idea of Lead Conversations That Count, feel free to reach out to me. I’d be happy to connect and have a conversation with you. I’d love to hear  from you as well! What works for you? How do you set the bar in your teams?

Thanks so much for watching and I’ll see you soon!