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“Are we there yet?”

This was the question my sister and I would pester my parents with as we drove up north to our beloved lakeside cottage or on those summer motorhome trips we took across North America. I remember my dad would drive for 7 or 8 hours at a stretch to get us to the next destination on our itinerary. To get the answer “Yes!” would mean success! We had arrived at the destination we intended.

But life often ends up having you arrive at destinations you never knew were on your itinerary. Asking “Am I there yet?” is a question a lot of grown-ups I know, myself included, are asking these days too.

“Am I there yet?” asks the newly promoted manager, hoping she will have the confidence and skills to inspire her former colleagues who are now her direct reports. “Am I there yet?” asks the patient of her doctor to see if her life-threatening illness is truly now in remission after months of exhausting treatment. “Am I there yet?” asks the divorced woman who wonders whether this next coffee date will perhaps be the love relationship where she can relax and learn to love and trust again.

In her book, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-being, Wisdom, and Wonder, media visionary and game-changer, Arianna Huffington argues that we need to redefine what we mean by success. For too long in our society, we have relentlessly pursued wealth and power as the key metrics of what makes up whether you are successful or not. The driving and striving to get ahead, to beat out the competition, and to win in life and business no matter what the stakes have been costly. She documents how stress and exhaustion not only impact our physical health, but it zaps our creativity, ingenuity and ability to bring the best of who we truly are out in the world.

When we think of success, often we think of material things – how much money is in the bank, how big the house is or where we last vacationed. Huffington believes we can’t continue to keep looking outside ourselves for success, but that tapping into the wisdom, wonder, well-being, compassion and love within us is where true success and meaning can be found and how we can make a true contribution to others.

Her message resonated deeply for me as a way to help people tap into and express their unique brilliance. For me, bottom-line success isn’t just about money in the bank, it’s about the courage and generosity of your heart. Here are 5 ways I have been measuring the success that really matters the most to me.

1. Did I experience joy today?

Our life force is the most precious resource there is. Experiencing joy every day is like taking the highest grade multi-vitamin for your heart and soul. Moments of joy don’t need to be the big momentous life milestones like a wedding or graduation. Often the most profound moments of joy can be in little vignettes of everyday life, like watching your dog at play or noticing a new flower starting to bloom in your garden.

Joy lifts your spirits and acts like a magnet to bring more joyful people and situations into your reality. By even holding this as a question will help to attune you to the powerful and expansive vibration of joy.

2. Did I express my creativity today?

Everyone is born with incredible and inspiring creativity. The difference is that many of us learned or were taught that it was not valued or to lock it away. My People Pleaser Gremlin urged me to be a conformist so I wouldn’t stand out or cause waves, so long ago I gave up on the idea of performing on stage, singing and painting. I told myself I just wasn’t creative.

Creativity helps us to access new ideas and awareness and stretches us to think outside the box. Even making a meal or writing sales copy is actually a creative experience. Finding some outlet for your creativity every day, even in simple ways, can not only be deeply satisfying but help you find the adventurous part of yourself that’s ready to take on new challenges and create new levels of success and impact.

3. Did I nurture my spirit today?

It is such a busy and rapidly changing world we live in, so it is easy to get overwhelmed. We live in a time when “thinking things through” just might not be possible if we’re always looking outside to the “experts” or to others for how to guide us through the unknown.

The world’s best expert on you is YOU. Nurturing your spirit, whether through practices of stillness like meditation or even just spending time out in nature, helps to cut through the mental gyrations and drop down into the deep wisdom within yourself.

4. Did I honor my body today?

It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes a health challenge to you or a loved one to make you realize how precious it is to have a healthy, functioning physical body. As Huffington shares in her book, so many people are sleep deprived and studies show the impact is not dissimilar to having too much to drink!

Honoring your body doesn’t mean you have to sign up for the next marathon race. Meet yourself where you are and trust yourself to know how to refuel your physical body. The afternoon nap, cutting back on unhealthy food or getting some fresh air into your lungs might be the small act of kindness that unlocks a new miracle in your life.

5. Did my heart connect with others today?

In a world where technology and the internet makes it so each to connect with other, nonetheless many people feel isolated and alone. This is certainly true post-pandemic. True connection doesn’t come from a high-speed router, it comes from your heart. Whether it’s smiling at a stranger on the street, working with your clients, drawing with your children or helping out at a local food bank, connecting with another makes us grateful and humble to be alive.

To thrive in life, you need to define and create success on your own terms.

Step Into Your Brilliance

It’s very liberating to define success on your own terms. What are 3-5 choices you could make on a regular basis that would have you feeling like you had enjoyed meaningful and satisfying success at the end of your day? Write them down and post them where you’ll see them regularly. Feel free to tweak and adjust as you integrate these choices in your life.